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People Are Awesome.

One afternoon in 2009 on Twitter

@pheezy 1. Keep them away from water 2. They hate bright light 3. The most important rule. Never feed them after midnight. #mogwaiPhone

June 10th

@ads_infinitum Plant in loose soil. Water as needed. Prune regularly. #bonsaiPhone

June 10th

@pheezy FIND KAT IMAGE. MAK UP CAPSHUN & PIPE THRU SPEAKLOLCAT.COM SET AS IFONE WALLPAPR. #oh_haiPhone

June 10th

@sampotts 1. Drop call. 2. Drop call. 3. Drop call. 4. Drop call. 5. Drop call. 7. Drop call. 8. Go down to edge of the river. 9. Throw. #bye_byePhone

June 10th

@VictoriaMia shows 36 views of Mt Fuji #hokusaiPhone Creeps out your friends #hentaiPhone

June 10th

@sampotts Just wants to cuddle. #nice_guyPhone

June 10th

@ads_infinitum Corncob pipe. Can o' spinach. He yis what he yis. #popeyePhone

June 10th

@marshalkowski 1.Divide into circumference. 2. Find radius #piPhone

June 10th

@joeippolito Fends off ninjas. #samuraiPhone

June 10th

@TapiocaNaif Allows you to pair with another device and swap or splice the DNA of the users. #brundleflyPhone

June 10th

@tonyfaulkner Big in the nineties, dances goofily, wears big hats. #JamiroquaiPhone

June 10th

@hanov3r black screen, white prompt says "$" #cliPhone

June 10th

@hanov3r use phone to lift X-wing #there_is_no_tryPhone

June 10th

@mitch_j Cancelled before its time #fireflyPhone

June 10th

@mitch_j Often golfs, flys or does other jokeworthy activities with priests. #rabbiPhone

June 10th

@joeippolito Eats three bags of Doritos and falls asleep. #gets_highPhone

June 10th

@joeippolito 1. Study 18th Century Babylonian history. 2. Download "Hammurabi" app. 3. Inflict justice. #eye_for_an_eyePhone

June 10th

@intellijen do, or do not #there_is_no_tryPhone

June 10th

@RadioBabe Everything comes out distorted. #liePhone

June 10th

@ads_infinitum Didn't have Ice Cube, so he bought Vanilla Ice. #pretty_fly_for_a_white_guyPhone

June 10th

@sampotts The whippoorwill sounds too blue to fly. The midnight train is whining low. #so_lonesome_i_could_cryPhone

June 10th

@RadioBabe reveals all your secrets. #hang_you_out_to_dryPhone.

June 10th

@RadioBabe Best for collecting gossip: #I_don't_mean_to_pryPhone

June 10th

@joeippolito 1. Changes name to weird symbol. 2. Just like its father. 3. Never satisfied. 4. Screams at other phones. #when_doves_cryPhone

June 10th

@joeippolito Soaks up more liquid than other leading communication devices. #two_plyPhone

June 10th

@RadioBabe Canta y no llores. #ay_ay_ay_ayPhone

June 10th

@sampotts Had free time. Signed up for Twitter. No more has free time. #why_oh_whyPhone

June 10th

@sampotts Strap on helmet. Lash basket thing to arm. Whip phone against the wall at 200mph. #jai_alaiPhone

June 10th

@LaurenSelfor from "Purple Rain" #when_doves_cryPhone

June 10th

@jonsel iTunes wouldn't download my fav nsync songs. Threw phone away in a rage. #bye_bye_byePhone

June 10th

@marshalkowski 1. Drive Chevy to levee. 2. Levee is dry. 3. Join good ol' boys. 4. Drink whisky and rye. #miss_american_piePhone

June 10th

@jonsel Sheena is a punk rocker! #rock_and_roll_highPhone

June 10th

@mel21clc Wears matching outfits, performs choreographed dances. It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie #byebyebyePhone

June 10th

@joeippolito 1. Develops middling R&B career. 2. Does unspeakable things with underage women. #I_believe_I_can_flyPhone

June 10th

@jonsel Phone is big hit. Tours country. Dies in tragic plane crash. #bye_bye_miss_american_piePhone

June 10th

@heyjuke he gets no love from me; tries to holler at me as he hangs out the passenger side of his best friend's ride #a_scrub_is_a_guyPhone

June 10th

@joeippolito Comes standard with war-ending app. #treaty_of_VersaillesPhone

June 10th

@TapiocaNaif Provides transcriptions of song lyrics as interpreted by Frank Zappa #excuse_me_while_I_kiss_this_guyPhone

June 10th

@burtmonroe Only JD Salinger may own one. All others sued. #catcher_in_the_rye_phone

June 10th

@Peter000 Cool, refreshing, with a hint of spice. #iced_chaiPhone

June 10th

@ads_infinitum Available in black *and* white. #spy_vs_spyPhone

June 10th

@jonsel Seen on very cool digital sandwich board. #the_end_is_nighPhone

June 10th

@danthorne Out of toilet paper? There's an app for that. #two-plyphone

June 10th

@jonsel Superman? #look!_up_in_the_skyPhone

June 10th

@larrylegend there's pus coming out of your eyelid #styPhone

June 10th

@Peter000 must... make... call! #do_or_diePhone

June 10th

@larrylegend delicious drink for post-yoga class, pre-pick up kids at soccer #vanilla_chaiPhone

June 10th

@joeippolito British edition: 1. Builds bridge. 2. Betrays friend. 3. Wonders what it has done. 4. Detonates. #bridge_on_the_river_kwaiPhone

June 10th

@heyjuke is typical with chinese food: add ingredients, a little oil and stir continously over high heat #stir_fryPhone

June 10th

@jonsel Tasty, but only during Passover. #matzoh_breiPhone

June 10th

@DaynaR @georgewashington used #i_cannot_tell_a_liePhone

June 10th

@LaurenSel Siam, sadly, is no longer a country, #the_King_and_I_phone

June 10th

@TJMcCandless Stuck with my Verizon contract for now - no success with their customer service goon squad. #dont_even_want_to_tryPhone

June 10th

@jonsel Sosa. McGwire. Manny. #deny_deny_denyPhone

June 10th

@heyjuke you are my fire, my one desire... believe when I say: I want it that way #tell_me_whyPhone

June 10th

@jonsel Hey Geppetto, that's quite a big schnoz your kid has. #never_tell_a_liePhone

June 10th

@mitch_j One Hit Wonder #too_shy_shyPhone OR #one_more_tryPhone OR #one_toke_over_the_linePhone OR #pretty_little_angel_eyesPhone OR

June 10th

@LaurenSel listening to some vintage REO Speedwagon #time_for_me_to_flyphone

June 10th

@jonsel Not sure dating the youngsters was a good career move. #i_believe_i_can_flyPhone

June 10th

@andreakremer Wilco! Sky_Blue_SkyPhone

June 10th

@DaynaR Dat's amore! #when_the_moon_hits_your_eye_like_a_big_pizza_piePhone

June 10th

@twoboysmomma and I'm enjoying it, ordered mine ystrdy! #cant_wait_to_get_myphone

June 10th

@BStephenson Ready or not, here I come. Gee, that used to be such fun! #apple_peaches_punkin_piePhone

June 10th

@jonsel Just think of the little kids dancing in the slums! #jaiPhone

June 10th

@ads_infinitum Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry. #american_piePhone

June 10th

@jungandinsane Oh, so delicious #piePhone

June 10th

@ads_infinitum Don't blame it on us. Blame it on the boogie. #jackson_fivePhone

June 10th

@knickerbockerny two kinds of rum, curacao, Orgeat, rock candy & lime; rocks and a Trader Vic's swizzle stick. #mai_taiPhone.

June 10th

@pheezy Walk into Katz's. Get your ticket marked up with grease pencil. #pastrami_on_ryePhone

June 10th

@ajbezark Of course: Drives Chevy to Levy, but Levy is Dry #bye_bye_miss_american_piephone

June 10th

@joeippolito 1. Is gone, can't come back, is out of the blue and into the black. 2. Predicts rock and roll will never die. #hey_hey_my_myPhone

June 10th

@MissBreitberg It is diamond-encrusted...the Lucy In The SkyPhone

June 10th

@TJMcCandless Moe, Curly and Larry each have one. Doink. #gonna_poke_you_in_the_eyePhone

June 10th

@sarahindie Need to chop down a cherry tree? There's an app for that. #cannot_tell_a_liePhone

June 10th

@Merbrat Virtual or button qwerty. #BiPhone

June 10th

@Merbrat From the "Princess Line"...the DiPhone (um, that was a style of landline phones)

June 10th

@kaleidoplex Where kissing in public is illegal #welcome_to_the_DubaiPhone

June 10th

@sampotts Blonde New Wave queen is gonna be your number one. #tide_is_highPhone

June 10th

@michelediane toothpick included #Swiss_army_kniPhone

June 10th

@Peter000 Do you expect me to talk? #no_mr_bond_i_expect_you_to_diePhone

June 10th

@mel21clc Can be used as eye-hitting device to indicate amore. #big-pizza-piePhone

June 10th

@GuildSteersman The alien menace descends upon earth #Holy_mackerel_Look_at_the_sky_phone!

June 10th

@ableparris Double Bacon Cheeseburger #would_you_like_friesPhone

June 10th

@LaurenSel for Charles Bukowski fans, there's the ham_on_ryephone... ok, I think I'm done now.

June 10th

@ableparris Cross you heart, hope to die. #stick_ a_needle_in_your_eyePhone

June 10th

@cunabula Tied to a single network and faced with a ridiculously expensive upgrade #why_why_whyphone

June 10th

@rmarotti a dainty gadget to set before the king. #4_and_20_blackbirds_baked_in_a_piePhone

June 10th

@TapiocaNaif The Champagne of Phones #The Miller_High_LiPhone

June 10th

@Peter000 This is mutiny, Mr. Christian! #Captain_BlighPhone

June 10th

@kaleidoplex Your last appeal has been denied. #Now_You're_Going_To_FryPhone

June 10th

@jinime Friday is the DTV transition deadline. Is it too early to wish for a streaming television app? #the_end_is_nighPhone

June 10th

@kaleidoplex Some creep decides to make a move on you. #Don't_Take_This_Wrong_But_I'd_Rather_DiePhone

June 10th

@michaelsandahl : Jambalaya, crawfish pie, #me oh myphone

June 10th

@jonsel The Yanks lost to the Sox. Again. #sighPhone

June 10th

@gregbrainos The 3.14159265 megapixels on this device make for delicious pictures #PiPhone

June 10th

@johngrogg Jacob, to Hurley: #Charlie_says_hiPhone

June 11th

@intellijen moses, god called and would like a word. sounds kinda pissed #mtsinaiPhone

June 11th

@ads_infinitum According to Journey, it keeps on turning. Don't know where you'll be tomorrow? There's an app for that. #wheel_in_the_skyPhone

June 11th

@ads_infinitum Stars Toshiro Mifune. Recruits ronin. Defends your village. #seven_samuraiPhone #I_can't_believe_this_is_still_going

June 11th

@fengypants A bugbear attacks. Roll for dexterity. #20_sided_diePhone #probably_not_right_its_too_late_or_too_early

June 11th 2115104560">

@ceceliahouse comes with great children's books, but you don't have to take MY word for it #butterflyintheskyphone #icanflytwiceashighphone

June 11th

@joeippolito Befriends Christopher Lloyd, rides in a DeLorean, travels through time, battles Biff. #marty_mcflyPhone

June 11th

@etagelarsen stick'em up! #your_money_or_your_liPhone

June 11th

@jonsel ToP no more. #the_inkwell_has_run_dryPhone

June 11th

@TJMcCandless Hey - your closing message is dated June 12! #how_fast_the_day_went_byPhone

June 11th

@earth2marsh One day it will cook my meals and do my laundry. #PieInTheSkyPhone

June 11th

@Peter000 "Something 7.2Mbps HSDPA Compliant." #I_spy_with_my_little_eyePhone_S

June 11th

@Peter000 White blows up Black. Black blows up White. Black and White blow up each other. #Spy_Vs_SpyPhone

June 11th

@nicoleseiffert Lie detection 2.: #cross_my_heart_hope_to_die_stick_a_needle_in_my_eyePhone.

June 11th

@MissBreitberg Isn't there an app for that on your I_Can_Do_Anything_If_I_Just_TryPhone?

June 11th

_sonyaa had a bad day? there's an app for that. #f_my_liPhone

June 13th

jonsel Hung out in the sun too long? #need_to_set_your_SPF_on_hiPhone

June 15th

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